why-animals-do-the-thing:

tyrantisterror:

Tyrannosaurus was not the most dangerous animal in the park.  Having imprinted on its handler since infancy, the creature maintained a docile temperament all the way to adulthood, and indeed seemed to prefer feeding from its designated trough to pursuing prey.  Its interactions with staff and guests showed at most a mild curiosity, and the only real terror the beast inspired was when it snuck up on trainers to sniff their hats.

The raptors were not the most dangerous animals in the park.  Hollywood had greatly exaggerated their size, first of all, and while they had a mischievous streak (one individual in particular was fond of stealin zookeepers’ wallets), they were far from the hyper-intelligent murder lizards everyone expected.  Their intelligence was less of the predatory sort and more the comical intelligence of a corvid, devoted mostly to play and caring for their fellow flock members.

The mosasaur was not the most dangerous animal in the park.  Though it held no loyalty to the zookeepers, it had taken to training well enough, and would dutifully move to a specific section of the tank when signaled, giving the keepers space to carry out any business they needed to accomplish in its tank without fear of harm.

No, by far the most dangerous animal in the park was the Struthiomimus.  Everyone expected it to be easy – what were these animals in pop culture beyond being fodder for the carnivores?  Surely the bird-mimics couldn’t be much of a hassle.  Sadly, they weren’t just any bird mimics.

No, in temperament, the Struthiomimus mimicked a swan.

Highly territorial and vicious to the bone, more keepers had suffering brutal beatings by the struthis than had been hurt by the rest of the park’s fauna combined.  And when they learned to chew through the fences…

Well, let’s just say the Tyrannosaurus never experienced a more terrifying day in her life.

This is my new favorite story. 

cishetsbeingcishet:

tbh im kinda glad that a lot of the realistic pokemon in the detective pikachu trailer are high key teetering on the edge of uncanny valley because like.. these are fantasy creatures that sort of talk and shoot fucking electricity and vines and fire and psychic energy out their eyeballs, they SHOULD look weird and alien. psyduck is a pokemon defined by the fact that it is experiencing an unending headache that motherfucker better look like he has seen the rise and fall of civilization itself. mr mime is literally like three brain cells away from being straight up human the sight of one should make me uncomfortable.

basically what im saying is we have been spoon-fed woobified anime pokemon for too long. put the monster back in pocket monsters.

toonskribblez:

oneman-wolfpackk:

I know you’re tired bitch but keep fucking going

Thanks, I actually needed to hear that.

kaijuno:

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.