If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter
he’s mirroring! cats do that to be social that’s also why they will lie on laptops or books. they want to do what their humans are doing because they enjoy being in the same room and socializing that way. getting him his own prayer mat was a really good idea bc now he gets to mirror without being in the way!
The other thing is that cats have a very good sense of time and tend to like regular schedules. If OP’s family members pray every day at the same times, in the same place, the cat knows the drill and probably considers this an official Household Activity which requires Feline Supervision.
my favorite era in history is the one where people discovered you could make cartoons out of typography and newspapers would run articles that were just like “today dennis the intern figured out how to draw a dog with the typewriter so here it is”
imagine a horror movie where all the characters are gen z and not particularly scared of dying
killer on the phone with a character: i’m in your house and i will kill you
character: alright lit hurry up tho
The fakest part of this is a Gen Z kid answering the phone
killer via dm on ig: i’m in your house and i will kill you
character: alright queen👏🏼💖 hurry up🔥🔥💦💦
The only “adult” in the movie is a millennial who’s also not scared of dying, but is somewhat grumpier about the situation bc “if I die I don’t have to pay loans anymore but I just found a barber that doesn’t judge me for crying sometimes so idk what to do anymore” and is just like mildly inconvenienced by it
“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”
“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“
the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”
everybody else is like “charles no”
at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for
But he gets away by throwing a silver money clip with a fifty dollar bill in it in the gutter
If I were a billionaire I would absolutely tell my secretary to send wedding gifts to anyone who sent me an invite regardless of if I knew them, because- A. I know how expensive that nonsense is. B. I would be a billionaire and when else am I gonna do with that much money? Honestly… and C. I would totally make showing up at random weddings with crazy awesome gifts my new stress relief hobby. “Congratulations random strangers! I admire your daring and stratigic planning. Here’s that 700$ tea set you wanted but assumed no one would ever buy.”
DustAndFundamentalists 